Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I have been feeling down lately and have been noticing how many people I know dealing with anxiety, including myself. I don't always talk about it here on the blog, although I am honest when things are wearing me down or problems arise. After I had my daughter 11 years ago now I suffered from post natal depression which got really bad. I think it was after watching the bombing of the towers one night whilst feeding her around 2am and thinking I was watching a movie, but then realising that it was real that the nightmare of anxiety and panic attacks started. It really is hard to deal with and having mornings where you cant get out of bed, cant cook anything or eat anything, or feeling as though you are suffocating and cant breathe is very scary on a daily basis. I ended up going to see my doctor about it and getting medication hoping it would fix things and having some counselling through Panda which helped a great deal. After a few months I could actually drive the car again without panicking and could actually eat properly again. I lost 23 kilos in a matter of weeks first off as I couldn't eat anything and therefore my energy wasnt right, and I couldnt sleep at night. I struggled to go out with friends and family anywhere. Eventually I got better and stopped taking the medication for about a year and then the Bali bombings happened and it started all over again. I vowed to stop watching the news about bad things happening as it was really starting to filter into my life and bringing back the anxiety. Fast forward to about 6 weeks ago now and I was starting to feel much better thinking that I didnt need to take so much medication so on my doctor's advice I lowered it. 3 weeks ago I could tell it was coming back as I wasnt sleeping properly, and then the big one came when I had to drive over a bridge that was big and I freaked out pulling up on the side of the freeway making my partner drive over it. I felt awful and felt like I was suffocating but was hoping it was just an off day. Yesterday I had panic attacks whenever I had to drive over a big hill or over a bridge, and of course I stopped the car and panicked over it wishing I didnt have to do it because it was paralysing me. My partner got home last night and all I did was cry wishing it wasn't me that had to suffer through this all over again. That is the worst part knowing that this is a lifetime thing for me and I will always have to take the medication so I can function properly. I know that in a few weeks' time I will be able to drive normally again and hopefully sleep better too which helps a lot and get out of this bubble thinking it is only me suffering when in fact it affects my whole family. I know there are lots of other people out there who suffer from anxiety in different ways but I just thought I would share my story in the hope it will help someone else who may be going through the same thing and not realise. Anxiety is a real disease which needs to be managed by help and medication and you may not always know when someone is suffering from it. Even people getting angry or upset over little things is a sign of anxiety so please be careful and remember that not everyone walks the same path as you, and their lives can be a lot different with things to deal with too.
Stay happy and healthy!
Friday, May 10, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Size: 6-12 months
Yarn: Sirdar Snuggly DK 1.5 balls
Needle Size: 4mm and 3 1/4mm
Saturday, April 20, 2013
I seem to be keeping up with finishing and posting about my finished objects lately which is great. I hope it continues. First up above is the Figheadh hat which is on ravelry but for some reason will not be added to my pattern page as a ravelry pattern. Nevermind as I loved it that much I knit it twice. The one above is the largest size and since I have a big head this one is a tiny bit small for me. I used Brown Sheep Serendipity Tweed yarn (which I absolutely love) in the colorway Variegated Ivy. Such a pretty green although it looks blue up there. Secondly below is the second version where I added 2 pattern repeats to the hat and another length wise too. This one is a bit big but I love wearing it. I think the color is Cherry Blossom and the colors seem very washed out here for some reason. I also knit them flat instead of in the round which was much easier for me. They didnt even use a whole skein so I might be able to eek out a little baby hat in each color for my niece and nephew!
So other things, work is good and picking up again finally for me. In 2 weeks time I will be babysitting my 3 nephews who are under 3 yrs one day per week so I will be able to get to know them a lot better. I have also had other work too in the last 2 weeks which breaks up the day. I am trying to cook more wintery meals now that the weather has finally cooled but unfortunately when we went to use the heater it wouldnt blow out any air. The power was lit up but nothing happened so the service guy is coming on Monday (hopefully). The air con guy was supposed to turn up to change the switch about a month ago now and nothing happened. I guess that comes with renting but I will keep sending emails to the agent because by the time it is fixed I guess it will be close to warm weather again. Anyway back to the knitting - I am knitting my niece a tunic dress and she is still in size 000 at 4 mths so she is very petite. She might be walking by the time she fits into it. I hope you all have a wonderful week!
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Isabelle finishes school tomorrow. She has been tired this term with playing 3 netball games a week which 1 game is like an intense training session. Next term (in about 2 weeks time) she will be playing another game as well, and her dancing on a Friday night so she will be super tired. I am hoping she adjusts much better next term as she gets a little cranky and worn down with it all.
Tomorrow afternoon my niece is coming to have a sleepover for 2 nights and on Good Friday we will be doing an easter egg hunt in a local park. I am hoping it doesnt rain too much on that day or otherwise I wont be taking them.
Knitting - up above are my Mabel socks designed by Yarnivore who is on ravelry. I really love this pattern as it is quite easy, but the color of the yarn makes it harder for me to knit on at night unless I sit directly under the light. I have noticed that my eyesight is not as good as it was a year ago now. I have to hold something out at arm's length to read the super tiny writing, otherwise I have to put glasses on to read it. Must be an age thing I guess since the kids keep telling me in 5.5 years I will be 50!!! So the yarn is Soft Like Kittens in a beautiful red color. Annette dyes up beautiful yarns and her prices are very reasonable. She is in NZ, and hosts the podcast Gentle Ribbing which I really enjoy. I am hoping over the easter break to get 1 sock finished but we will see how we go.
Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it and I will pop back after the holidays.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Hi all, how have you been? I have been knitting away this week and have an FO to show you all. This is the Lavender pattern from Tikki (Georgie Hallum) who designs wonderful patterns for children and adults. This hat is just beautiful and wasnt too hard to knit up at all. Doesnt it look lovely on Isabelle. She likes it as a slouchy beret type hat and has requested a
The yarn that I used is hand dyed by Annette who has an etsy shop called Soft Like Kittens. She is from New Zealand and her yarn colors are just gorgeous. This is the Plump DK base which is a newer base she has started dyeing. It has 211 metres in a skein and was just perfect for this hat. The prototype colorway is #114 and is a really pretty mix of light blues and medium blue. She also has a few different bases of sock yarns and if you would like any dyed up in the colorways that she has in her shop she would be very happy to do so for you. She also has a video podcast called Gentle Ribbing which I would recommend to anyone who loves to knit and crochet. She crochets just absolutely beautiful things and it makes me want to get started crocheting!! So I hope you all have a wonderful week wherever you may be. I am hoping to get some project bags sewn up and a few toys finished off this week so I have something to show you next weekend!
Friday, February 22, 2013
I also bought a pre-order copy of Botanical Knits from Never Not Knitting. Alana Dakos is such a beautiful designer and I love all of her patterns. This one has 13 patterns and her chest sizes go up to perhaps a 50" or slightly bigger, will have to recheck. My hard copy wont arrive until May 2013 but when you pre-order you receive a code so that you can use the patterns from ravelry. I am already planning on knitting a hat from the book and have the perfect yarn. I will post about the yarn in another post very soon as it is so nice and so is the dyer.
Hope you all have a lovely day!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Other knitting news - Cabled vest is still going and has one half of the front to go, and then bands and neck to finish. I have also finished Isabelle's cabled hoodie but I need to buy some toggle buttons for it. My LYS didnt have any in a wood finish that I liked so I guess a trip to Spotlight tomorrow to buy some will be in order. I am still knitting away on my eyelet cardigan too so hopefully will finish the other front of it very soon so I will be able to wear it soon. Other than that, I think I have a pair of size 9 lady socks to finish for Isabelle, and hopefully her growth spurt doesnt extend to her feet for much longer. She wears the same size as me at the moment and is only 11, goodness knows how big her feet will get. Her brother is 19 and wears a size 13 so I have refused to knit socks for him anymore.
I think that is about it until I get some more handknits caught up. Hope you all have a wonderful week!