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Anxiety

This is my little nephew wearing the hat that I knitted for him quite a while ago now.  He is just a gorgeous boy, so happy and full of fun!  He makes me happy along with his brothers and sisters.

I have been feeling down lately and have been noticing how many people I know dealing with anxiety, including myself.  I don't always talk about it here on the blog, although I am honest when things are wearing me down or problems arise.  After I had my daughter 11 years ago now I suffered from post natal depression which got really bad.  I think it was after watching the bombing of the towers one night whilst feeding her around 2am and thinking I was watching a movie, but then realising that it was real that the nightmare of anxiety and panic attacks started.  It really is hard to deal with and having mornings where you cant get out of bed, cant cook anything or eat anything, or feeling as though you are suffocating and cant breathe is very scary on a daily basis.  I ended up going to see my doctor about it and getting medication hoping it would fix things and having some counselling through Panda which helped a great deal.  After a few months I could actually drive the car again without panicking and could actually eat properly again.  I lost 23 kilos in a matter of weeks first off as I couldn't eat anything and therefore my energy wasnt right, and I couldnt sleep at night.  I struggled to go out with friends and family anywhere.  Eventually I got better and stopped taking the medication for about a year and then the Bali bombings happened and it started all over again.  I vowed to stop watching the news about bad things happening as it was really starting to filter into my life and bringing back the anxiety.  Fast forward to about 6 weeks ago now and I was starting to feel much better thinking that I didnt need to take so much medication so on my doctor's advice I lowered it.  3 weeks ago I could tell it was coming back as I wasnt sleeping properly, and then the big one came when I had to drive over a bridge that was big and I freaked out pulling up on the side of the freeway making my partner drive over it.  I felt awful and felt like I was suffocating but was hoping it was just an off day.  Yesterday I had panic attacks whenever I had to drive over a big hill or over a bridge, and of course I stopped the car and panicked over it wishing I didnt have to do it because it was paralysing me.  My partner got home last night and all I did was cry wishing it wasn't me that had to suffer through this all over again.  That is the worst part knowing that this is a lifetime thing for me and I will always have to take the medication so I can function properly.  I know that in a few weeks' time I will be able to drive normally again and hopefully sleep better too which helps a lot and get out of this bubble thinking it is only me suffering when in fact it affects my whole family.  I know there are lots of other people out there who suffer from anxiety in different ways but I just thought I would share my story in the hope it will help someone else who may be going through the same thing and not realise.  Anxiety is a real disease which needs to be managed by help and medication and you may not always know when someone is suffering from it.  Even people getting angry or upset over little things is a sign of anxiety so please be careful and remember that not everyone walks the same path as you, and their lives can be a lot different with things to deal with too.

Stay happy and healthy!

Seed Stitch Cardigan and Hat

Hello there, another finished project that I thought I had better post before I forget to.  This pattern is so cute.  It is the seed stitch jacket and hat from Sirdar.  I used Sirdar Snuggly DK in a dark purple color but it does look washed out in this picture.  This is the 6 mth size so it wont fit my niece for quite a while yet but the hat might.  Definately an easy pattern and perfect for winter!

The Eyelet Cardigan

Hello!  I just thought that since I had some time that I would pop in and show off another project that I finished last week.  This is the Waistcoast and Cardigan pattern from Sirdar Pamphlet 1401.  I knit it with a gorgeous dark teal color which turned out beautifully.  The only problem was this was the first time the yarn had actually run and I ended up with dark green blotches on my towel where it was blocking, and after another wash and rinse it seemed back to normal.  The construction on this little cardigan is to knit the body and then seam it together, thus leaving space for the sleeves to be set in.  Once I understood it it was much easier to put together.  I am hoping my niece will grow into it soon so she can wear it through winter as she is such a petite little baby!

Size:  6-12 months
Yarn:  Sirdar Snuggly DK 1.5 balls
Needle Size: 4mm and 3 1/4mm

Some more finished objects for April!

I seem to be keeping up with finishing and posting about my finished objects lately which is great.  I hope it continues.  First up above is the Figheadh hat which is on ravelry but for some reason will not be added to my pattern page as a ravelry pattern.  Nevermind as I loved it that much I knit it twice.  The one above is the largest size and since I have a big head this one is a tiny bit small for me.  I used Brown Sheep Serendipity Tweed yarn (which I absolutely love) in the colorway Variegated Ivy.  Such a pretty green although it looks blue up there.  Secondly below is the second version where I added 2 pattern repeats to the hat and another length wise too.  This one is a bit big but I love wearing it.  I think the color is Cherry Blossom and the colors seem very washed out here for some reason.  I also knit them flat instead of in the round which was much easier for me.  They didnt even use a whole skein so I might be able to eek out a little baby hat in each color for my niece and nephew!

Thirdly, this is the little retro cardigan from King Cole Book 5.  The King Cole books are full of gorgeous patterns and this one is nice and easy to knit up.  I knit it in some James C. Brett Supreme 8 ply yarn which is nice and soft to knit with.

Lastly the sweater for my nephew Felix.  I absolutely love orange even though it doesnt suit me.  I found this orange color on Deramores.com and it was in the James C. Brett Supreme DK so I ordered a 100gm ball and it was perfect.  It even matches the speckles in the Sirdar yarn perfectly.  I popped a little button on the collar so it will go over his head easier but the ribbed sleeves are quite stretchy so he probably wont need it.  The pattern is a King Cole pattern that I also bought on Deramores.  I love that store because it only takes under 2 weeks for things to arrive and if you spend over $100 you receive free shipping or otherwise it is $7.95 for everything which I think is great considering they are in England.  For some reason I order books from fishpond.com who are in NSW and they sometimes take 3 weeks to arrive which is rather annoying.

So other things, work is good and picking up again finally for me.  In 2 weeks time I will be babysitting my 3 nephews who are under 3 yrs one day per week so I will be able to get to know them a lot better.  I have also had other work too in the last 2 weeks which breaks up the day.  I am trying to cook more wintery meals now that the weather has finally cooled but unfortunately when we went to use the heater it wouldnt blow out any air.  The power was lit up but nothing happened so the service guy is coming on Monday (hopefully).  The air con guy was supposed to turn up to change the switch about a month ago now and nothing happened.  I guess that comes with renting but I will keep sending emails to the agent because by the time it is fixed I guess it will be close to warm weather again.  Anyway back to the knitting - I am knitting my niece a tunic dress and she is still in size 000 at 4 mths so she is very petite.  She might be walking by the time she fits into it.  I hope you all have a wonderful week!

April Finished Objects!

Hello there, thought I had better put my post up of some finished projects before life got ahead of me and I forgot.  The photos did not appear in the order that I selected them for some reason so I will just work with it.  First up is a baby slouchy hat for my nephew Atticus!  It is from the book King Cole Baby Book 5 which I ordered from Deramores.  I love Deramores, great prices, great service and it doesnt take too long to arrive here in Oz either which is great.  I used Sirdar Snuggly DK in the white and some leftover gray which I used for the vest below.

 Next up is a pattern from Sirdar knit in the fair isle colorway of Crofter Baby DK.  I loved how the stripes worked out although seaming him together was a bit of pain but I am happy now that he is done. I had to redo the legs so they werent facing outwards.  He is going to be a present for my cousin's first son who was born in January.  I do hope he will like it.

And finally a little vest from another Sirdar book.  I used Sirdar Snuggly DK in the gray colorway.  This is the 6 mth old size and it only used a ball and a bit so it is great.  It only took about 3 days all up and this will be to match with the hat for Atticus.  He is a very warm baby so he will be able to wear this in winter without overheating.  I think it turned out super cute.  Oh and thank you to everyone who left me a wonderful comment on the finished puppy - I really do appreciate comments on my work, it makes me smile!  Hope to catch up again soon.

Easter Break!

Hello everyone, how are you all.  I have been busy lately but nothing too stressful, just rushing around doing things here and there, with some work thrown in for good measure.  I babysat my twin nephew and niece which was wonderful.  They are nearly 4 months old now and are growing up so fast.  I just went through my knitting stash and put together some easter presents for them since they cant eat chocolate.  I also put some together for my 2 yr old twin nephews and their little brother who is nearly 8 months old.  They are moving down here in a few weeks permanently so I will get to see lots of them, and babysit them 1 day a week.

Isabelle finishes school tomorrow.  She has been tired this term with playing 3 netball games a week which 1 game is like an intense training session.  Next term (in about 2 weeks time) she will be playing another game as well, and her dancing on a Friday night so she will be super tired.  I am hoping she adjusts much better next term as she gets a little cranky and worn down with it all.

Tomorrow afternoon my niece is coming to have a sleepover for 2 nights and on Good Friday we will be doing an easter egg hunt in a local park.  I am hoping it doesnt rain too much on that day or otherwise I wont be taking them.

Knitting - up above are my Mabel socks designed by Yarnivore who is on ravelry.  I really love this pattern as it is quite easy, but the color of the yarn makes it harder for me to knit on at night unless I sit directly under the light.  I have noticed that my eyesight is not as good as it was a year ago now.  I have to hold something out at arm's length to read the super tiny writing, otherwise I have to put glasses on to read it.  Must be an age thing I guess since the kids keep telling me in 5.5 years I will be 50!!!  So the yarn is Soft Like Kittens in a beautiful red color.  Annette dyes up beautiful yarns and her prices are very reasonable.  She is in NZ, and hosts the podcast Gentle Ribbing which I really enjoy.  I am hoping over the easter break to get 1 sock finished but we will see how we go.

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it and I will pop back after the holidays.

Lavender

Hi all, how have you been?  I have been knitting away this week and have an FO to show you all.  This is the Lavender pattern from Tikki (Georgie Hallum) who designs wonderful patterns for children and adults.  This hat is just beautiful and wasnt too hard to knit up at all.  Doesnt it look lovely on Isabelle.  She likes it as a slouchy beret type hat and has requested a black one.  Hmmm - will have to think about that one as I don't normally knit in black.  She has now seen the photo and wants a white one!

The yarn that I used is hand dyed by Annette who has an etsy shop called Soft Like Kittens.  She is from New Zealand and her yarn colors are just gorgeous.  This is the Plump DK base which is a newer base she has started dyeing.  It has 211 metres in a skein and was just perfect for this hat.  The prototype colorway is #114 and is a really pretty mix of light blues and medium blue.  She also has a few different bases of sock yarns and if you would like any dyed up in the colorways that she has in her shop she would be very happy to do so for you.  She also has a video podcast called Gentle Ribbing which I would recommend to anyone who loves to knit and crochet.  She crochets just absolutely beautiful things and it makes me want to get started crocheting!!  So I hope you all have a wonderful week wherever you may be.  I am hoping to get some project bags sewn up and a few toys finished off this week so I have something to show you next weekend!

Hello there, just popping in to show off some recently finished projects!  Firstly is the Cornwall shrug, which is a pattern on raverly.  I knit this for Isabelle but since she has had a growth spurt it is a bit tight across the shoulders.  This means that I will have to gift it to someone and then KNIT A BIGGER SIZE!  It is knit from Panda Magnum Soft 8 ply in a really nice light shade of grey.  I quite liked this pattern, even though I had to mark off every row.  It only took about 3 days to knit it and then give it a block and wait for it to dry.  It would have looked lovely on her but oh well!

Next up is the cabled hoodie from one of the Sirdar patterns.  This luckily fits Isabelle nicely, and just needs some buttons added onto it today.  The yarn I used is very old, perhaps about 12 years from my stash.  I still have a few balls left.  It softened up so much after I blocked it.  I do hope she will wear it in the cooler months over a long sleeved top.  I loved how the cables popped out and the color is really accurate too, a nice beige color.  I might have to knit her a darker one now in a size bigger for next winter too.  I also entered it into Retro Lemon's cable KAL and I think today is the last day for that.  It has been nice casting off some newer projects.

I also bought a pre-order copy of Botanical Knits from Never Not Knitting.  Alana Dakos is such a beautiful designer and I love all of her patterns.  This one has 13 patterns and her chest sizes go up to perhaps a 50" or slightly bigger, will have to recheck.  My hard copy wont arrive until May 2013 but when you pre-order you receive a code so that you can use the patterns from ravelry.  I am already planning on knitting a hat from the book and have the perfect yarn.  I will post about the yarn in another post very soon as it is so nice and so is the dyer.

Hope you all have a lovely day!

A Project Bag and a few FO's!

Hi there, how are you all!  I have been busy lately so the posts have been few and far between lately which I apologise for.  I have lots of content, just never enough time to just sit down and do it so here we go.  Up above are our two kitties who love my craft shelves.  I had a new project bag which I bought from Amanda of Knittin In The Sun podcast and who has an etsy shop, and had just finished the project which was in it.  I came back to see the two of them had wasted no time in hopping in thinking it was their new bed!  They later snuggled in amongst the other project bags on the shelf and went to sleep!

My finished items are being sewn up and photographed finally.  Here is the first hoodie for my nephew Jai.  He loves to play in the dirt and get covered in everything he can get his hands on so I thought a darker color would be nice to suit his big brown eyes and sandy colored hair.  I used Dazzle Heirloom yarn in royal blue and black for the edging.  This pattern is from Milla Mia Wonderland book, and the pattern is called Jonas Comfy Top.  I didnt use the beautiful Milla Mia yarn as my SIL has 3 small boys and no time to do special washing for handknits so acrylic was used instead.

This is Lucas' hoodie from the same pattern and the same yarn, in a camoflage colorway.  I quite like the way this one knitted up as it didnt have much pooling in the varigation.  I am hoping that my SIL will like these for the boys in winter.

Lastly, but not least is my shawl called Crosswords In The Coffee Shop.  Knitpurlgirl (Karrie who passed away last November) designed this shawlette and it is so lovely.  I used Fibrenymph Dyeworks yarn in a beautiful aran weight.  I loved how it turned out.  Sorry not all of it is in the photo as I couldnt fit it all in.  I might have to wait until my small model/photographer comes home to take some more pictures.

Other knitting news - Cabled vest is still going and has one half of the front to go, and then bands and neck to finish.  I have also finished Isabelle's cabled hoodie but I need to buy some toggle buttons for it.   My LYS didnt have any in a wood finish that I liked so I guess a trip to Spotlight tomorrow to buy some  will be in order.  I am still knitting away on my eyelet cardigan too so hopefully will finish the other front of it very soon so I will be able to wear it soon.  Other than that, I think I have a pair of size 9 lady socks to finish for Isabelle, and hopefully her growth spurt doesnt extend to her feet for much longer.  She wears the same size as me at the moment and is only 11, goodness knows how big her feet will get.  Her brother is 19 and wears a size 13 so I have refused to knit socks for him anymore.

I think that is about it until I get some more handknits caught up.  Hope you all have a wonderful week!